so here i am, 6 and half years clean and i am battling my weight...again. having once ballooned up to 314, then gotten down to 233, now, after injury and baumgartner type dive off the healthy food wagon i am at 299. i have to find my way again, out of the obsession of eating. it is "using" in a different sort of way- the drugs are gone but the need to fill a craving remains.
weight gain...still
Lost
I was given the gift of physical sobriety. I did not have to work for it. I though I was dying; literally. I had been drinking for over thirty years and thought I had liver damage. It turned out to be something else. Not life threatening. But it still scared me straight.
Followup
Only part of my previous sharing was posted:
However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.
How to conquer my fear
I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.
aca
this all aplys to me
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Comments
I have the same problem.
I have the same problem. Drugs and alcohol are not an issue anymore but food? oh boy!
I find myself relieved when I am on low carb diet but then once in a while I go on a binge. Now that I am sick of the low carb diets, I stopped it about a month ago. Now I must accept all the weight gains and the cravings.
I go to OA and almost everybody there advising me to start the 301 plan as they believe it was the end of their struggle with weight gains. I am not sure why I did not start the 301 plan yet; am I afraid to let go of food-comfort? Am I afraid of being hungry sometimes? Is it worth it? It seems that I need to work my steps on food, what am I waiting for?
I am all private
i totally understand the
i totally understand the whole weight gain thing. i am 21 mths clean,& i have gained around 65lbs. im 5'1" & 186lbs. its taken me quite a while to just get used to being in my skin. and of course i still have days where i dont wanna leave the house cuz i feel so fat. but i force myself to go. ive decided that i would rather be fat&happy than thin&miserable. ive embraced the big girl!! i love myself now&noone can take that from me.
When I was 23 years old and I
When I was 23 years old and I stopped boozing. I found fast food it was my friend. it was good to me until one day I woke up and weighed over 300 lbs. I got ok with myself. but I was not doing anything about my recovery. I didn't even want to admit that I had a problem. after 11 years of doing this. I relapsed and became worse than before. not only booz but other street drugs. I droped weight and a lot. I looked like I weighed 70 lbs. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I started going to meetings. AA and NA I started to get on the right tack. went to treatment. that helped a lot. I told my self I was going to eat healthy and stay in the program. in ten years I think I gained some, but in a healthy way. to this day I still struggle with my weight issue. but I can cope with it with the support of meetings and friends. recovery did and will fill that void. I hop this helps you. Take care and God bless.