so here i am, 6 and half years clean and i am battling my weight...again. having once ballooned up to 314, then gotten down to 233, now, after injury and baumgartner type dive off the healthy food wagon i am at 299. i have to find my way again, out of the obsession of eating. it is "using" in a different sort of way- the drugs are gone but the need to fill a craving remains.

Well,

          I never thought i would have to be nice to anyone on the way up....because i was never planning on coming back down. Having been knocked down and climbed back 3 times now it gets harder each time...I appears that i have 4th opportunity to more with my life...first i know longer consider it a climb up....its simply moving on...second no on can take it away from but myself.

P.S   Gratitude!

Hi everyone, my name is Wendy and I am an Alcoholic.  At this moment I have 175 days sober.

In Step Six I contemplate my life undergoing change-tremendous change. The great fear is this: If I shed many characteristics that stand in my way, what will be left? It is as though I face a great void, a terrifying unknown. Yet when I acknowledge how far I have come, I can see how much I want to change. The desire to grow and to heal has brought me to this uncomfortable point, because I am tried of the way I have been. My Higher Power is there to guide me when I am ready.

I find myself looking inward over the past few days, and to be honest I have no idea who I am seeing in the mirror.  I see an adict, a lyer, thief, and many other horrible things.  Finally reaching the point of being sick and tired, and wanting to see my old self again I called my doctor today and for the first time, I admitted to having a problem and to see what options I have.  After a bit I found out they will send me to a outpatient clinic where I will be given medication to help with the problem, also I will attend meetings, drug test, and even a shrink to help with other issues which